It still hurts!!

Last night I was looking through Alex's and JJ's scrapbooks and it really got me to think about Jacob. I know it has been 3 1/2 years since I lost him, but it still hurts. I have moved past it, but I will never forget him. He was my first baby, my first son. Even though I didn't have anytime with him while he was alive, he was still so very real to me.

I am so blessed in my life, and I thank God everyday for all 3 of my boys. I thank him for giving me Jacob, even though I didn't get to raise him. I try not to think to much on what it would be like if he had lived, because then I remember that if he had lived I wouldn't have Alex, and I could never choose one son over another. This way I got them both.

It just hurts to see how much Alex and JJ are growing and realize that I will never see Jacob grow up. He will always be the same to me. His picture will never change.
Mandi