WOF conference

I just got back from the Women of Faith conference in Denver and it was awesome. Lately God has been talking to me about my relationship with my mom. He has been saying just give it to me, actually I have been hearing him saying to me much like a parent trying to get something from a kid, "would you give that to me, give me that, JUST GIVE IT TO ME!!" He wants all my pain, my fears, just every feeling and hurt I have with it. And I have very stubbornly saying NO, I don't want to let it go, work in the other areas of my life, but just not this one.

Well as most of you know, when we don't give EVERYTHING to God, when we don't open up every part of our heart for him to work in, we miss the full annointing that he has for our lives. And that has been what I have been doing. I have been afraid to give it to him, because my biggest fear has always been to be out of control. To just lay broken before the Lord, weeping at his feet, with all my hurt, my sins, my everything just there for him to see and work on.

I have felt like we often feel when we have something in our eye: Man that piece of sand might hurt like heck, but the thought of trying to get it out is worse, because we know the pain will be so much greater, and knowing that we must go through it to heal, but not wanting to. That has been my life for a long time. I know that my relationship with my mom hinders my marriage, my kids lives, my relationship with others, but most importantly God.

This whole conference was on Freedom. It was truly a freeing weekend. I realized that just like Luci Swindowl said "Just show up, Shut up, and Let go." That I was never in control and by trying to be in control I have not let God do all he can in my heart. And forgiving my mother doesn't mean forgetting, but giving it to God will heal my heart and let God do things in me I never dreamed he would do.

It is a truly freeing, wonderful weekend.
Mandi